I don’t know how to handle compliments. I never have. I have been called many things the last few years. Things that I can reconcile with myself. Things like, amazing, gifted, wonderful, a ‘rock star’, etc… I don’t know how to respond to that. I don’t see it. What do they see that I can’t see? Continue reading
Sorry, I disappeared again. I fell down the rabbit hole that consumes me. I am just struggling with things. I am reminded of this song by Godsmack…
Once again my friend Storm clouds are rolling Broken inside myself Can’t seem to break this chain ~ Godsmack / Living in Sin
So we are ready to begin. I woke up this morning and got my official weigh in. I did it twice because I had the camera all wonky. Got the same weight twice (this is good)… 338.8. I took all my measurements and took a beginning photo. My plan is to take a photo and measurements every 5 weeks. I will do weight (and weight photo) every week. My first goal is 5 lbs. I can do this.
So I have decided to change the way I am doing things. I have read some where that “a definition of insanity is to repeat the same sequence of events and expect a different outcome“. Obviously, what I have been trying for the last year or so has not been working. So I have decided to make some changes.
STAT! So I went into the doctors today. Yeah, not good. Not surprising, but not good. It is all there in black and white. My a1c was up, my weight was up, my glucose was bad that morning. So now I know. I know that I have been in free fall. I know I have gained 26 lbs this year since January and 50 lbs total since last spring. This is unacceptable to me. It has to stop now. Continue reading